Where’s the BACON? / by MEAT ME

This burger was so amazingly juicy that I was 90% through it before I realized there was no bacon. I turned around to the happy go lucky owner Bill and said, “I think they forgot the bacon?”

He said to me, “Really there is no bacon?”

I said, “Yea!”

He turns around and looks right at the cook and says, “Thank you… Thank you so much! He’s here to write about the restaurant and you forget the bacon!”

I just about died laughing! Bill, the owner of the Hole in the Wall Burger Joint, said this in the sweetest possible way. He’s a funny guy, Bill! Probably the nicest owner I have met till this day. Trust me… I was not dying with out the bacon. If it needed it, I would have noticed and saying something sooner.

My girlfriend and I set out to go get something healthy from Whole Foods. That lasted about 4 to 5 blocks. I looked over and saw this new place called The Hole in the Wall Burger Joint. It grabbed our attention, we looked at each other, and knew it was meant-to-be.

We walked in around 3pm it was nice, clean, and all to our selves. Not to mention new, it has only been open for 3 weeks. This place was as exciting as morning on Christmas Day. Who knows what it was going to be, but I could not wait to get it.

When I go out to eat I never tell people I am writing about the restaurants until I am on my way out. There is not point. I do not want special treatment; I want to be treated just like everyone else to bring you the most real experience possible. If I tell them it can influence the experience and change the out come. I am not doing this for FREE SHIT! I am doing this because I LOVE food and I want you share the best experience possible.

Bill, the owner, picked up on me right away. I walked in, took one picture, and knew exactly what I was doing. After about 30 seconds he asked, “You a blogger?”

I said, “Yep!” Gave him my card and we talked the MEAT. I found out he is very in tune with his customers. He kind of reminded me of a retired NY fire fighter who knew what people wanted and just wanted to give that to them. Enjoy life and skip all the bullshit.

I looked at his menu and it reminded me of the Counters but it did not give me the 250 ways to screw up a burger. It had 3 – 4 options in each section. It was perfect. I could order in under a minute and I wouldn’t have to pull my hair out trying pick all the options!

I got the beef burger, pretzel bun, chipotle mayo, cheddar, bacon, and the fries. Bill was kind enough to offer drinks on the house. My lady kept it safe and ordered the Burger of the Week not to mention the beef is all natural.

The food was done before I even had a chance to finish talking to Bill, under about 5 minutes, and my girl had torn into hers before I could get a picture off. The burgers came in cute little brown bag with a sheet of paper to throw the fries on.

Everything here was made from scratch, from the burgers to the sauces. They cared enough to make every option perfect. We dipped the fries in each sauce and were getting up to get more before we could even finish.

It only took a few bites to realize I had found something special, or that something special had found me. The bun was a super fluffy pretzel that hugged the meat in between. To top it all off the burger was as juicy as ever. JUICY! That was it! This is what I had been missing for so long. I forgot that burgers were supposed to be juicy. You could even see the thin layer of juice between the meat and the bun. It was every carnivore’s lubricant and the holy water of all sacred meat!

The fries were the perfect compliment to go with the juiciness. Between all of the amazing sauces, the thousand island was my favorite. I was in total bliss! Not only was I going home fat and happy, I had made a new discovery along the way. I was dipping my burger in the thousand when I finally noticed there was no bacon.

Normally I would kill for bacon, and at some places visualize myself picking up throwing them out of disrespect. Not this time, bacon had something to compete with. What are you gonna do bacon? Huh Huh? That’s what I thought. I was having such an awesome moment and I did not want the bacon to rain on my parade. I tasted it, it was great, and I was back to my burger the way a mother protects her child.

With that said, I cannot wait to go back and neither should you. Get there… Get there now, before it is too late and there is a line down the street. Bill knows what he is doing, and he came loaded with a serious burger to prove it.

On my way out I thanked Bill for such a wonderful burger. Out of BACON guilt he throw me some of his pudding. As full as I was… I knew I could not pass up another chance to feel special. I did. The pudding was like a hug and a kiss on the way out the door. It reminded me of decadent chocolate ice cream. It was beyond creamy and everything pudding should be.

So I don’t care if you are in an igloo in Alaska or in a box under a freeway… You cannot die without trying this burger. If I don’t explode I hope we MEAT again.

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Feel special,
Sean Rice
aka MEAT ME!