Im too SEXY for ME MEAT! / by MEAT ME

That is exactly what it feels like when you eat really tasty food. Especially at ¡Lotería! Grill. You feel sexy. You are taking the time to enjoy and savor every. Single. Bite.  You feel like the entire restaurant is focused on you. Some are even shocked and awed.  You are almost nervous that everyone is going to approach you at any moment and ask you for some – almost as if they find you completely irresistible. But none of this is gonna happen if you can’t find fucking parking! My GOD!

Seriously, I don’t know, may be its me. It took me 20 to 30 minutes to finally give up and have the over priced, eight dollar valet guy park my car. I am on Hollywood Blvd. and there is no parking on either side of the street from 6pm to 6am, go figure. There is a parking structure on N. Cherokee Ave. but I think its $10 (I am not 100% sure).

I intended on being there at 10pm but by the time I was in the door it was about 10:23pm after pictures of course.  Going late to a restaurant does have its benefits. I walk in, there are just a few tables seated. The manager was quick to greet and seat. He says, “Where ever you want and I’ll follow.” How do you like them apples Rosa Mexicana!

Immediately they asked me what I wanted to drink, and then brought me chips and salsa. Rosa Mexicana 0, ¡Lotería! Grill 3 – suck it Rosa! I was handed 4 menus: the food, the 3-course meal, the specials, and the drinks. It was a bit over whelming handing me this encyclopedia of delights. I was here on a referral, thank you Jenny P., and I was told to have the giant tower of cheese aka the Chicharron de Queso. I asked the waiter what they were known for and he recommended the shrimp tacos and that’s just the type of meat I was looking for. Then I get the question… “Mild, medium or spicy?” Yea I’ll take my taco’s hot mister. As he walks away my spicy shoulder pads deflate. I will soon get owned.

That is such a loaded question because everybody’s gauge is different. Does anyone have a solution for this? I would love to hear it.

This all happened in about 1.3 minutes so in driving time I was on my third U-turn. Now Jenny built up this “Tower of Cheese” to be so huge that a small village could live inside of it. So ladies and gentlemen I bring you my first MEAT ME video.

Pretty suspenseful, I know. But at least you can see how they make it and it saves me 35 words explaining it. My carpal tunnel thanks you.

By this time the service is so quick and snappy I feel like I am saying thank you every 10 seconds. Do you like this? Some people don’t but for this place it is just the way I like it. Plus it makes me feel sexy!

So with my Cheese Tower I get 2 sides, salsa, guacamole, and some corn tortilla’s. I put them all together and take a bite… nothing. Not a whole bunch of flavor, but some. I got to make my second one and BANG there it is. The flavor is hiding in the middle of this cheese village. It's so good I have to have 2 more… Yeah and 4 more taco’s are coming. I am starting to understand that this was meant for more than one person.

By this time I am so sexy it feels like the chef is checking me out, or because I am taking pictures of my mouth while I eat. Either way I’m pretty sure it is because... I reek of sex appeal!

The score, Rosa Mexicano 0, !Lotería! Grill 10,000. Rosa has basically been reduced to the equivalent of a hot pocket. !Lotería! Grill has already won in my book – and am in now way trying to compare the two. But, Rosa’s has good food and everything else sucks (I have got Jenny P. to back me up on that one).

So it's nice to see that the little things can make an experience magical. Now the shrimp tacos arrive and they look like synchronized swimmers on a plate really to party in my mouth! Taco one, taco two, at this point they are delicious. A little more sauce than I am used to, but it is another one in the bag.

Now I am on my third taco and the shit is spicy. Yes… I referred to this amazing food as “the shit” and I still think it’s retarded good! You can see the sweat bullets on my face. My admiring chef approaches and asks, “Sir, is it to spicy?” I reply with my spicy shoulder pads completely gone (mouth full of food), “This-is-the-way-I-like-it!”

I am sure she could see the BS coming out of my ears. She even chuckled. How could you not laugh at this pathetic white dude? I am sweating at the counter taking pictures of myself. I would be in tears laughing. But, I am pretty sure it was once again the sexiness of the food that made me so damn approachable.

Not even this sexy beast could finish the fourth taco. At $35, $47 with tip (cause they were awesome) the bill was a little high but I didn’t mind, I felt I had earned it.

However I could not look at the half eaten taco as a defeat, because I was too SEXY for ME MEAT!

Ya! I said it!

Sean “Sexy” Rice

P.S. I found out later on that !Lotería! Grill makes their own tequila, and has incredible deserts. There you have it!  2 more reasons to go and check it out! Enjoy!

P.P.S Alright you people. I get over 200 of you guys visiting per day. And non of you have anything to say in the comment's section. Please... Please take the time to let me know what you like, and don't like. Even a simple "I like" will do the trick. I really wanna bring you guys things that your interested in, rather than me just going off on things that strike my fancy. Speak up damn it! Or places like iHop may be next. And... Thank You for taking the time out of your day to visit MEAT ME. I appreciate your feed back. Live long and eat meat!